creation

I don’t get many things right the first time. In fact, I’m told that a lot.  Now I know all the wrong turns the stumbles and falls brought me here. Where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face? Now I see it every day. And I know that I am. I am. I am the luckiest.
I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.

There is so much truth in these words.  Thanks Ben Folds, for once again, speaking my soul into nakedness in front of my own blind eyes.   I wish I were so gifted with words.  Or pictures.  Or something.  I spend soooo much time looking at photographer’s blogs.  And I spend sooo much time reading Author’s words, and singing the music of a Musician Poet.  These pictures, these words, they make me feel something.  They make me feel a pull.  Something that I know is intrinsic to being human, very primal in nature.  The desire to create.  To make something; a picture, a song, a story, a representation of something that stirs another human to the point of wanting to create something.  What if every one of us humans inspired this in another?  Or could it be that this has been the case since God’s initial birth of the world, and I’m just making this connection…I think this is true.  I think God has set the passion to create something in all of us.  Some of us have yet to find our outlet for this passion.

Gemma.  She is so beautiful.   She is the one who I feel I can’t find a way to say how I feel about.  I do know the way I’ve used the word “Love” in the past is such a different feeling than these feelings I have for my daughter.

My daughter….MY daughter….

My life has felt so meaningless until now.  I know that I have loved and been loved, and that has had meaning in itself.  But I have struggled to find my purpose.  To find a passion that I felt God designed for me.  But I see now that this was a selfish thought.  Because I have found it.  I long to be the best Mother that I can be.  This in turn makes me want to be a better Wife.  The purpose God has designed just for me can only be accomplished in making sure that Kyle, Gemma, and those that follow Gemma fulfill their purpose.  To that end I have dedicated myself.  And anything else is like a beautiful little cup of hot chocolate with home-made whip cream on top after a long day of skiing in the snow.  Skiing is a perfect use of time and reward enough in itself, but sometimes someone goes the extra mile and you get steaming, velvetty, perfectly portioned hot chocolate. 

Anything God let’s me do on top of being a Wife and Mother is like that.

I’ve been reading Donald Miller’s new book.  So far it’s about the story he’s living and how he doesn’t really like it all that much.  It makes me want to have a story.  But not just any story.  I want to create one my children will want to be a part of.  Maybe this is what I’ll create.  A life.  A real life.  With pain and tears and laughter and happiness and intensity and blue sky.  And along the way, I’ll remind myself that a life that’s worth living isn’t always easy, but it is worth it.

It’s worth it….it’s worth it….it’s worth it….  

 Father, I’m listening.

 

 

 

p.s. If you like Donald Miller, look.  

 

p.p.s.  My computer crashed.  And along with it my photos. I can’t comment on the sadness this caused me (the lamentations were heard round my block), but I can apologize for the lack of color to my recent posts.  I am still taking photos, but, alas, I have no home for them.  Possibly soon.  Possibly not.  We’ll see.

Gemma

May 30th

 

OMG this has to be a contraction…I can’t believe how much my back hurts.  Messie is getting married tomorrow I can’t have this baby tonight! I also probably can’t drive home.  I really hate to leave Mess’s bachelorette party early but I have to get home and go to bed.  I have to rest!  Bradley teacher said, “If you think you’re in labor, eat, shower, go to bed.”  Gotta rest, gotta rest, gotta rest, gotta rest.

 

“Mess, I’ve gotta go home.  I’m so sorry.  My back hurts like a mother effer.”   OMG that had to be a contraction.  But there’s no break! It’s like, it hurts it hurts it hurts OW it hurts worse!  There is no stop!  Is this just the way my body is?  WTF!

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow Mess.  I might not make it for the morning stuff though.  I think going into work this morning and afternoon and then staying out and about until all hours of the night… What?  It’s only 8:30?  God I’m already getting old…  Well anyway, I’ll see you in the morning.  You look beautiful!” …. OUCH!!….  “Tomorrow’s gonna be perfect!” ….OW!! EF!!!…..  “Okay, see you! Bye…Bye!…Bye!..”   I gotta get home gotta get home gotta get home….

 

May 31st

 

Still pregnant.  No “contractions” today.  So stupid.  I hate being pregnant.

 

Oh wow.  Mess looks beautiful!  I can’t believe she’s getting married!  They’ve waited so long just to be together and now they’ll be together forever…..And I’ll still be pregnant.

 

“Oh yes it was a beautiful ceremony….No, no I’m fine, really.  No I wasn’t able to be here this morning for all the before wedding fun stuff like getting ready with the girls but it’s fine, really….”   Except this freaking baby is grounded from her senior prom for making me miss my best friend’s wedding stuff…  “No really it’s fine, I needed the rest.  No I don’t feel like sitting right now I’ve been sitting all day, thank you!”  Please take that chair and shove it.

 

“Bye Mess!  It was beautiful I’m so happy for you!  I can’t believe what a beautiful bride you are!  Don’t worry we’ll let your Mom know if anything happens.  Don’t call from your Honeymoon!  I love you!”  Kyle…read my mind…GET ME HOME…NOW.

 

June 4th

 

Okay baby.  It’s your grandmother’s birthday come on out.  Come on.     Come on out.

 

June 5th

 

Today would be neat G baby.  It was Grandma Jimma’s birthday.  So…come on out! Because it would be neat.  Don’t you want to be a neat baby?  You’re only cool if you’re born today.  Come on, don’t you want to be cool?….*sigh*   I guess we’ll go for our 9th walk today then.

 

June 8th

 

“I’m dilated to a 5 doc?  That is crazy….really?”

 

June 9th

 

Are you kidding me?  I know I’ve been in labor for at least a month.  This is ridiculous.  Maybe if I push a little bit…….Nope.

 

June 10th

 

Well today we’re signing papers on the house.  I’ll be faking the smile in those pictures.

 

4:30 p.m.

 

“Hi, yes how are you?..Oh we’re great…just any day now.”  Never.  I’m due…never.  I’ll never have this baby I’ll be pregnant forever, happy now devil mortgage lady?  You might as well just put a cork in me because this baby is never coming, ever.   “Thank you we’re so happy to have this house, it’s already been a blessing.”

 

6:00 p.m.

 

Okay this has to be it.

“Kyle we think need to go to the hospital….yes, really.  Well, you do what you need to do I’ll be lying in here on the bed in labor.”

 

8:00 p.m.

 

Finally, I was about to kill those kids in the waiting room…Wow I’m going to be a super Mom.  God this room is tiny.  I wonder how long they’ll make me stay in here.  “Still a 5 huh?…Yea contractions are like 5 or 6 minutes apart I think.  Okay we’ll stay.  Kyle, better call our parents.”

 

June 11th

 

2:00 a.m.

 

I want to go home I want to go home I want to go home…..

 

5:45 a.m.

 

We’re going home, I can’t take this anymore… ”OW! Woah that was weird…No it was different.  It felt like a pop….yea but I don’t feel anyth……Kyle.  I think my water just broke.”

 

9:00 a.m.

 

OMG!!!! I can’t even breath between contractions I’m so tired.  I just want to fall asleep without breathing…wait that’s dying, I do not want to die.  Do I?  There is nothing like this pain.  And there is nothing worth this. This baby is never coming.  That’s it.  I’ve resigned myself to it.  I’m just going to lie here in pain for the rest of my life until I die from forgetting to breathe, or loss of whatever this stuff is that’s coming out of me…or hunger.   “Kyle I can’t do this….no I can’t….. no I can’t……babe, but what if I can’t?”   He’s so sure I can do it…I believe him…I don’t know why but I believe him. Breathe….breathe….breathe…..

 

10:30 a.m.

 

O…M…G…Can’t do it.  Can’t do it.  Can’t do it.  Can’t do it.

 

11:00 a.m.

 

I get to push?  Really?  It’s time?  Oh thank you oh thank you….

 

12:00 p.m.

 

I’m so tired…I know I’m supposed to push on the contractions but I can’t feel them anymore..  It was all I could do not to explode from the pain of them an hour ago and now I can’t even feel them.  God, you’re going to have to do this for me.  You’re going to have to tell me when to push.  I can’t do it anymore.  Now? Okay…..

 

 

Now? Okay……

 

 

Now? Okay………..

 

 

Okay I’ll count to 8…..Now?  Wait I can’t…..  Okay…..

 

1:16 p.m.

 

Holy crap that’s a baby.  A baby just came out of me.  I’ve been doing this for so long I forgot there was a baby in there.  That’s a baby!

 

 

“Kyle…that’s a baby.”

 

our first family picture....I be's lookin rough. But this is my favorite picture.

 

 

2:00 p.m.

 

….Totally worth it.

 

 

 

My Love affair with SNL continues…

I would love to be this girl.

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-celebrity-blogger/1085169/

If only….maybe someday. Also someday, I will learn how to post a video in my blog. It wouldn’t just cut and paste…annoying.

Seriously though, funniest SNL skit of 2008-2009 for sure! I really hope they bring her back a lot!
Well, just about time for my monthly blog update I really want to update more than that!
I promise it’s coming soon. Lot’s has been happening around the Pierce house! Stay tuned…

Scouting

Well, today marked the first time I attempted a walk down the baby aisle at Target. 

Some women spend years lazily walking by these aisles, dreaming of the day they might venture down with blessed stomach bulging and scanner guns blaring.  Dilly dallying around the end displays with silent “Oooo”s & “Awwww”s. Visiting the Maternirty clothing as if it were on some kind of higher plane layaway.  Weaving in and out amongst the rows of 0 to 3t clothing with a blissful and slightly suspicious gleam in their eye.  They seem to carry that look on their face that says “One day, my time will come. And that day cannot be soon enough.”

No, such has not been my lot in life.  I have walked many a time by the maternity clothing without a second glance.  I have avoided the aisle of onesies and receiving blankets, finding aversion of my eyes to be quite the easy task when confronted with pink lacy garments and small embroidered lions outfitted in overalls. My only trips into these depths of mommy-dom have been short and in desperate search for the perfect something to cross of someone else’s registry. Today, I resolved to push my little red basket down these aisles, decaf skinny cinnamon dolce latte in hand, and brave the great unknown of baby-ness. 

I started out in the Maternity section, where I was once again disappointed to find that the only size left in the few things that merited a visit to the much abhorred fitting rooms were…Small.  And so, after a longing last glance at one of the only maternity dresses I have found appealing, Size Small, and a slightly less longing glance (in fact something more akin to pure digust) at the same dress in Size Extra Small, I moved on to the shoes.  My favorite silver shoes have recently started talking, and they do not have very attractive things to say.  They are looking quite shabby.  I tried on just a few shoes and found nothing that I liked, so my next stop was the media section.  This visit consisted of nervous side long glances across the walkway, sweat gathering in my overly deoderized armpits. I kept trying to psych myself up, lunging across the walkway with gusto, only to find some invisible force preventing me from making it entirely across and into the foreign land.   

I thought I could just pack it up and go home, finding no shame in the fact that I am 27 weeks pregnant and still avoiding the scariness of the reality of the rest of my life. But I said a prayer (literally), gathered myself, patted my tummy, and pushed my way through the invisible barrier.  I was able to take one trip up and down every row before feeling overwhelmed and retreating to the more familiar and quite comfortable decorative pillow and photo section.  I was even able to make a short  leap into the stroller section, powered by held breath, closed eyes, and another prayer.  By the end I had found a teeny little yellow, orange and blue dress for a 12 month old that I was able to picture a blond headed little girl running around in. I was comforted by the fact that that moment, the moment where I will look back at myself and laugh, finding joy in my daughter’s laugh, is less than 18 months away.

I don’t know how I will register for things like baby bottles and receiving blankets.  I don’t know what I will do with all these things when they are gifted to me because I won’t know how to use them, and right now it seems like I certainly won’t have anywhere to put them.  But I can take comfort in the fact that as I walked through Target phone in hand, talking to my Mom who is sending me strength from 6 hours north, that she was once in this place too.  This place of uncertainty, this place of anticipation and worry.  This place of excitement.  Did I just say excitement?  I don’t know!

But there is one thing I am quite sure of.  I did decide to follow suit with my very eco-friendly best friend Messie who is getting married in May.  She created an alternative registry so people could find things she and her Fiance needed online for the best price.  I am going to do that for some items, specifically the most expensive ones.  But for convenience’s sake, I will also be registering at Target so that some people, like me, who wait until the day of the shower to buy a gift, will not be left feeling like they can’t come and hang out with me at the shower! And hopefully this will also help eliminate the need for pink frillyness that tends to overtake people when they are buying for girls.

As for the end of the Target scouting trip, I came home with new underwear and purple nail polish.  All in all, a fairly good initial jaunt into the world of baby registration. 

Also, I planted a strawberry plant today!  Pictures of cool things soon to come.

A Baby & Anxious Eating

Hi Everyone!

I know there is nothing I can say to excuse my tardiness on this post, but…

That is a baby.  And I would say “she is in my belly,” but I just had a conversation recently with someone about how that makes it sound like she is being digested. So I will just say, she will be here in mid June.  And her name is
Gemma Layne.  I hope she likes the name.  Gemma is after Kyle’s grandmother Jimma, and Layne is after my Daddy, Jerry Wayne.
We are frantically trying to figure out where all the stuff in our guest room is going to go!  The guest room is no longer a guest room, but a baby room!  So incidentally…does anyone need a Dell desktop? Circa 2004…?  And….is anyone wanting to get rid of a crib that is less than 4 years old? 

Captain Puppy!

Quick strange story about Captain.  Anyone’s advice would be greatly appreciated with this.

In December, Kyle went to Honduras on a vision trip for the mission trip they are going on in June.  Around that same time, Captain started doing this weird thing with his food.

He goes to his bowl and picks up a mouthfull of food.  He then brings this mouthfull of food into whatever room I might happen to be in, drops it on the floor, and eats it while looking at me.  Then he goes back to the bowl, however far a trek this might be, and gets another mouthfull, and brings it wherever I am to drop, and eat…again.  I thought this might be some sort of separation anxiety, but then I started noticing that most times he brings it into the living room, which is where we eat.  So I said to Kyle, in my best eureka type voice, “He thinks this is where you are supposed to eat! Wow he is smart.”

But last night, he brought the food into the baby room when we were in there talking about how to organize it. 
So…there goes that theory!  But I still believe we have the smartest dog on the block.  Which is saying a lot because we have about 25 dogs on our block. 
Well, me, the smart puppy, and the baby are going to take a walk! 

And in my last post, you might have seen that Kyle got me a Valentine’s present.  It is an amazing Canon EOS Digital SLR Rebel.  The pictures that it takes are just so beautiful!  I am going to be taking a lot of pictures tonight when we have Youth Com Group, and this weekend we are going on a retreat with our small group of Youth.  I can’t say where because they don’t know where yet, and who knows who might be snooping around on this blog, but I will tell you that there will be LOTS of picture opportunities, and I am ecstatic at the possibilities!!

Anyway, here is a little taste of what the new camera can do. (FYI, it was also the taker of the other two pictures in this post.)

Valentime's Roses!

 Best. Husband. Ever.  I love him!!!

From My Husband

This website is for you, my love.  It is for you to show off your wonderful talent behind a camera.  I love. 

And here is you Valentine’s day present.  You have to find it first. 

I love you.

-Kyle

art, life, and the Godfather

This blog has been a pretty low priority for me since I began it, but seeing as how circumstances in life sometimes change….here we are again.

Last update I had said the next pictures would be of graduation. So I will put up a few for posterity’s sake.

And then, there was a job! I work at the Children’s Special Needs Network where I did my Senior internship. This is the greatest job in the world. I get to help families with children with special needs. We can help with some money (not very much, just $400.00 per fiscal year) and we have a loan closet where we can donate stuff to families who need things like $20,000 wheelchairs and can’t afford them. We also have once a month respite where parents can bring their kids for four hours on a saturday in Waco, Killeen, and Temple, and we do a lot of other things too!

Within the last year or so, Kyle has discovered a very active interest in art. Many of the things he has created are beautiful and unique. Now he is working on something for our living room. This might be it.

There is an absolute talent in his hands and eyes that really inspires me.

In other news, maybe we’ll do a Christmas card this year? Who knows! Kyle actually likes the idea. We’ll see how we do with stretching our Christmas present budget.

One thing for Momma, I made the cheesecake and it was good. So everyone said. And then we ate a Thanksgiving dinner with our com group. It was good, but I still can’t wait for yours!

Also for my parents: Yesterday while I was sick on the couch, AMC was showing The Godfather part I and II. As I watched, I felt memories flood over me of cold days during Christmas break, regular weekends during the school year, and just any ole day in the summertime, when quite unexpectedly one of these beautifully crafted works of cinema would appear on a classic movie channel. No matter the day or curcumstance, we always watched them. I have always wanted to know everything I could about these movies, because you guys loved them so much and knew every twist and turn. And now everytime I see an old picture of James Caan as Santino, or a young Robert DeNiro as Vito in old America, or Al Pacino with that slicked back hair, I think of home. I think of both of you, always. And I think you will be very proud to know that yesterday, I was able to relay a bit of background on what was happening when Kyle came in on Part II. It made me feel older, and wiser. Thank you for passing on your love of great movies to me. It is one of the most enjoyable parts of my life. I love you.

And now, as Kyle is listening to Bob Dylan and painting some more, I will say goodnight. But not without a current picture of our little puppy which is now a DOG! (but will always be little puppy to us)

Married Life (abridged version)

Wow. I can’t believe tomorrow we will have been married for 9 months! It has gone by so fast. Everyone’s favorite question to ask is “How’s married life?” And I realize I sort of stink at updating my blog, so hopefully this will serve to catch some people up on what has been going on in our lives. I’ll give you the whirlwind version. honeymoon we have done a lot of really fun things! In July we took the youth group to Pineywoods Youth camp and had a blast. It was a great experience for all of us.

September is birthday month for us so we did lots of fun things! First we got to go home and see our family which is one of our favorite things since we don’t get to see them enough.
At the first of the month we planned to see Dave Matthews in Dallas, but Kyle surprised me for my birthday and we went to Dallas one night, and the Woodlands the next!
And as if that wasn’t enough fun, we also hit ACL (Austin City Limits, a music festival Austin Parks Foundation puts on every year) later that month with my best friend Jess and one of our youth, Zan, also went with us. ACL never fails to deliver great shows. It was hot and sweaty, and totally worth it. Here are some pics of our favorite shows! Credit for these pics go to Jess Studinka, my bff with the camera skillz!

Since the

This is Butch Walker. He came out into the crowd with us, it was awesome.

This is Regina Spektor, she is one of (if not my first) favorite female artist.

This is Ben Kweller whose music is some of the best of our generation.

This is Damien Rice, who made me cry at his live concert. In a good way.

Andrew Bird

The Decemberists

I have to add another Ben Kweller shot for posterity’s sake.

Other bands seen (and thoroughly enjoyed) but not photographed included: The Killers (probably the best show of the whole weekend) , Arcade Fire, Bob Dylan and his Band (who we also saw at Jazz Fest in New Orleans in 2006), Galactica, Joss Stone, Spoon, M.I.A. (also an incredible show!), Bloc Party, Amy Winehouse, DeVotchka, Amos Lee, and others I can’t remember at the moment! This was definitely a great ACL 2007.

For Halloween this year we were Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett. It was a blast. (For those of you who don’t know we have started a tradition of being Johnny Depp movie characters for Halloween. He is so much fun to imitate for Kyle!)

Thanksgiving brought family and snow! We couldn’t believe all the snow! It was perfect. We love being at home, and we love snow. We miss skiing this year, but this is the closest we got.

(I did katy and matti’s make-up )

Christmas was my favorite as always. We went home to Lamesa for about a week and then came back home to Belton to move into our new little rent house! Kyle’s parents came to help us move and paint the new little house. So far, our new little home is everything we could have wanted.

Mom and Dad got us a new camera so we are taking lots of pictures!

Our friends Dave and Steph got married right when we got back from Christmas. It was a beautiful wedding and they are a beautiful new married couple of people!

After their wedding, we moved into our new house!

These guys, plus Kyle’s mom and Mr. Bojangles helped us paint. It was a lot of work to move in and paint in about 3 days, but we got it done and it looks great! If you’re in the area and want to come see our house, just call! We have an extra bedroom with a waterbed!
By the way, to the people who may find it amusing that our dining room was pink, that was just the primer color. Our dining room is actually red. And the living room is grey. Perfect colors.

Our new address is 505 Neil Street, Belton, TX 76513.

Since we moved into our house, life has been happening pretty fast. We are loving it. Our youth group is going on a mission trip this week to Mission Arlington and we ask for your thoughts and prayers.

Also, we are very excited to welcome a new little puppy in our house! Kyle surprised me with this little guy a week ago and he has been a great dog already. His name is Captain Augustus McCrae and he is a Weimaraner. We have big plans for him including frisbee catching and hiking. But for right now, we can’t wait for him to get potty trained!

Meet Captain!

You can see from this last picture he’s gonna be a big puppy! We love him so much already. He is with his grandparents this week, and my Dad has told me he’s already a spoiled little grandog by his Grandma. I miss him already but I’m so grateful my parents decided to keep him this week, we didn’t know what to do with him when we went on our mission trip!

Well like I said, there it is, married life in a nutshell. Moving, holidays, music festivals, musical characters, family, puppies, and love. It’s a good life.

Remember to pray for us this week while we are on Mission in Arlington!

We are also looking forward (along with my parents) to my graduation on May 2nd! I’ll graduate with my Bachelor’s of Social Work. I am not really sure what I want to do, but I know that God has a plan for me. I am trying to remain open to his guidance.

Everyone have a great March 16th! Think of us if you remember.

Love.

Honeymoon

The honeymoon was really incredible. We saw some beautiful country and decided we want to get to California soon. First we flew into Reno, Nevada from Lubbock.

This is a picture from the plane.

When we landed in Reno we rented a Jeep Commander and drove to the Mammoth Lakes area.

We stopped at a little burger place and grabbed a burger on the way.

Then we got to Mammoth Lakes and it was a beautiful transition. From the dry mountains to secluded green mountains with lakes, hidden away in the eastern sierra. We passed several lakes before we got to June Lake..

Then we found June Lake, and the place we would spend the next 3 days and 3 nights. It was beautiful. There was a small “beach” on the lake. It was mostly gravel and the water was really
too cold to swim, but it was probably my favorite spot of the June Lake trip, just for the view.

I could probably spend years in this one spot, just sitting and staring.

We visited an old ghost town called Bodie, CA. It was really interesting. We liked it alot and we decided our Dads would really enjoy it too, but our moms would proabably rather be on the beach.

While in June Lake, we also visited the Double Eagle Resort. It was a beautiful pool and spa with seperate locker rooms with whirlpools in each. We went to this place twice, and each time we spent about an hour and a half away from each other in these seperate locker rooms…and it was awesome. We were in love with that place, but I did not get any pictures. I guess thats just for our memories, and we won’t be forgetting it soon for sure. But here is the breakfast place we ate every morning:

So then we drove up to Mammoth, CA and bought a book of day hikes in the area. So then we hiked to these interesting craters called the Inyo Craters (we had lots of fun with that name also) and reminisced about what we thought may have caused them. I said something about pterodactyl feces and Kyle said something about a small meteor. Either way, that was fun. We also recreated a Citi commercial. We took some photos on the way up to the craters.

So Inyo Craters was fun.

Next we drove down to Yosemite National Park and spent the nite. We had a blast. We saw bears, went bouldering, hiked to the lower Yosemite Falls and met some really great people that let us stay in their campsite because we would not have been able to stay otherwise.

All in all, a pretty incredible first trip as husband and wife.

Thank you husband.

The End.

We got wedding pictures!

for more go to www.crosswhitephotography.com

enter flash site, go to clients tab and type in password ‘beaty’.

they are all so good!